I was listening last week to a podcast as I was trying to make my room more acoustically appropriate for my podcast episodes- which translates to blah blah blah, make it sound better. The podcast I was listening to had a guest speaker on who has done amazing things for individuals on Skid Row. As I listened more and more I heard myself in this woman’s voice. Her heart was very similar to my heart. The host asked her why she was a woman who was so very passionate to love without ceasing she described a relationship that allowed her type of love to blossom.

She was talking about the woman that raised her and said, “The fact she held space for me was the most powerful thing that could have ever happened for me. I’ve always been resilient and strong but I have always had a place to pour it and a place to recharge. She was my space to recharge. She could never save me, but she could hold space for me to figure out how to save myself. Now I am doing it for so many people and I know why doing it is so important.”

This woman was surely talking about my mom. I have always known I was blessed beyond measures to have the mom I do. As I listened to this woman I realized I bet that is a big portion of raising children into people who love, who recognize the differences we all bring to the table, but the fact that we should all be sharing food at the same table.

My mom has always had a space for me. From the time I was young I could go to her about bizarre intuitions that to anyone else it would seem crazy. Not my mom. She would listen, she would believe me. She would give me that safe space. The pain that would bring a middle school child to tears had a space in her world where my pain had meaning. It was significant because it meant something to me. Through her love I grew to understand pain and happiness does not have to mean the same thing across the board to the general population, but it is significant because it happens. When I call her crying about a patient that died, she has no idea who this person is but she listens because the pain I feel for a stranger matters. When I get angry about the world and all the lack of justice, she listens because my anger matters. All the hard times I have gone through with education and my career held value, held space. When I would cry to her and ask why such things would be happening to ME she simply told me because someone else would need my understanding one day when they go through it. She raised me to believe not only did all my emotions hold value, that they were worthy to take up space but the emotions of others deserve that value. The new nurse who cries and is broken because she is made to believe she will never be good enough- her doubt deserves a space. Because of my mom I hold that space.

I have wondered now for a couple of years why I am so deeply in tuned to the emotion of others whether it be suffering, celebration, doubt, sadness, elation, etc. Last week I realized it is because my mom instilled in me the ability to recognize the emotions people have are important because they are real to that person.

Thank you, Mama for teaching me the importance of humankindness. Thank you for letting me know I am valued, always. Thank you for making me feel worthy come what may. I may not have children, but I desperately want to give the world the love and devotion you poured into me when you taught me that no matter what anyone says I am important and I matter. Moms across the world could be so wise to teach their children all that you taught me. I love you to the moon and back.